When you search for quotes on the comfort zone, there are many that you will find such as –
‘You need to step out of your comfort zone in order to become stronger and grow.’
‘All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.’
‘Success is on the other side of your comfort zone.’
All the above quotes are applicable if we take the literal meaning of being comfortable, indicating that we just lay still and don’t move.
But, all ideologies have a deep-rooted thought behind it and to extract the true meaning and benefit, one has to understand it’s various perspectives.
I am going to attempt to unravel one such perspective that is very close to me in my role as a parent. I invite you all to wear the parent hat and join me in this quest to define the essence of the comfort zone.
The Psychological definition –
A comfort zone is a psychological state in which things feel familiar to a person and they are at ease and in control of their environment, experiencing low levels of anxiety and stress. In this zone, a steady level of performance is possible.
If we use this definition in the context of parenting, it will look like this – A comfort zone is a psychological state in which things feel familiar to parents and they are at ease and in control of their environment and children, experiencing low levels of anxiety and stress. In this zone, a steady level of raising and nurturing children is possible.
Which means that when the parent is in the comfort zone, the parenting journey is a straight-forward and simple journey.
The twist in the tale –
Going by the above definition, every parent will crave to be in the comfort zone. However, this desire is far away from reality and parents experience stress, concern, and fear of the uncertain in their parenting journey.
This indicates that most parents are usually living out of their comfort zone. And if they are living out of the comfort zone, then they are consistently trying to learn and grow (as learning and growing supposedly happens outside the comfort zone).
- But isn’t learning and growing supposed to make us confident, self-sufficient, and equipped to manage all challenges? And if we can manage all challenges, does it not mean that we will become less fearful, and experience a sense of peace, joy and happiness on most occasions?
- And if parents become less fearful with time, why are most of them experiencing stress, anxiety and fatigue?
In order to clear the confusion, let’s go back in time, into our childhood and try to trace the pathways from there till where we are today – into adulthood.
COMFORT ZONE – Home is the place where we are most comfortable as a child and as adults too. This is the place where we have our most cherished people and there exists an environment of love, trust, collaboration and understanding.
This zone is our rest zone where we can be our natural selves and where, we can relax and revitalize.
As children, the HOME environment is built and maintained by our parents and as parents, we build and maintain the HOME environment for ourselves and our children.
FEAR ZONE – This is the zone where we are answerable for our behaviour, knowledge and outcomes. Here, we will perform, learn new things, and adapt, to gain the best possible benefits and rewards. This zone is outside our homes, and we have to step into the external world to live in this zone.
This can be a pretty stressful zone as we are constantly being watched and judged and the entire zone is a competitive one.
LEARNING ZONE – This zone is the zone of true and meaningful learning. We have fun, and learn at the same time. We do activities that we choose and enjoy, and through the medium of these activities, we recharge our mind, body and soul.
As children, we can associate this zone with the games we played with our friends. As adults, this zone denotes the space and time we give to activities which we enjoy to do.
This zone is our private zone with very restricted and selective entry.
GROWTH ZONE – This is the enlightenment zone. We perform, learn new things, and adapt to get clarity on our life purpose and goal. This zone gives us an indication of our inner battles, and guides us to reflect, seek feedback, work with mentors and coaches, eventually leading towards inner transformation and change.
As children, our innocent curiosity to know about everything makes us explore ourselves and our surroundings. As adults, we consciously choose to activate our dormant curiosity and question and explore ourselves and our surroundings.
BACK TO THE CURRENT TIME – As parents, we are the role models for our children and the strongest influencers during the key stages of child development. Our children are watching what we do and listening to what we speak.
If they see us balance our lives across all the zones, they will understand and learn to do the same. However, if there is an imbalance in any of our zones, it will affect them as well and they will pick up our outlook in life as theirs too.
Our key role as parents is to build and maintain the HOME environment and make it as comfortable for them as possible. They should be able to feel safe at home and free to explore themselves and their surroundings.
And to achieve this comfort zone for them, we have to ensure that our home environment is OUR comfort zone too. If it is not, then we will land up masking our emotions and being a different person than who we naturally are. This, in turn, will lead to added stress and anxiety in our lives. No matter how much we try to mask our discomfort in our comfort zone (HOME), our children will see through and feel the vibes, thereby leading to imbalances and dissatisfaction in their lives too.
The comfort zone is the zone of ‘BEING’…. It’s our core state. Initially, it is very small but with increased self-awareness, this zone keeps expanding and getting bigger and bigger. And all the other layers of fear, play and introspection will keep changing and blooming like petals that add a touch of colour and fragrance to our lives.
KEY TAKEAWAY
In life, all the zones are important, and they each have a unique supporting role to play. They compliment and grow the core – our comfort zone.
Our life journey is about achieving this state of comfort that enables us to be who we are, perform at our optimum best, have fun doing what we love to do and get clarity and understanding of our individual life goals and purpose.
Being alive is about always living in the comfort zone by:
- Being who we are
- Facing our fears and taking action
- Making time for ourselves and engaging in activities that we love to do
- Reflecting and accepting ourselves to become more self-aware
LET’S SEEK COMFORT AND LIVE LIFE (comfortably 😊)
