We are living in the ‘Information Age’. It is the age of growth and progress, of constant and quick changes.
We are also living in the ‘Managing Age’. – where we are balancing ourselves and our children during these unpredictable and ever-changing times. We are jugging with multiple parenting roles and striving to maintain the balance in each of these roles. Every parenting role has it’s specific and unique expectations from us. We may be a ‘natural’ in some roles while in others, we may be struggling to cope up with.
As parents, we play multiple roles. Sometimes we are the caretakers and at times, we are a friend and confidant. On several occasions, we fill in the shoes of the teacher or Guru and there are moments when we may have to become the child too.
This parenting graph can never be a steady one. It is full of bumpy highs and lows, and we have to manage ourselves while treading along this uneven path.
While moving along this uneven path as a parent, there are two areas of prime importance that we must manage and balance. We must manage SELF and we must manage OTHERS. We need to use sweet and spice in a good enough combination towards self and others, in order to maintain the flavour, texture and the nutritional value for all concerned.
If there is an imbalance in either area, it will lead to reduced benefits and increased amount of stress and anxiety. This stress and anxiety (which we mostly tend to keep a secret), tends to intervene in every area of our life, thereby leading to Dissatisfaction, Discouragement and Dejection.
So how can we best manage ourselves in our role as parents? Which path do we travel on?
There are two distinct pathways that we can choose to fluctuate between, to maintain the balance in our parenting role.
| SHORT-CUT | LONG ROUTE |
| Compromise or give in | Experience failure and learn new lessons |
| Take on all responsibilities of our child | Delegate age-appropriate responsibilities to our child |
| Ignore our fears | Address and face our fears |
| Make our child the centre of our world | Always keep SELF as the centre of our world |
| Be rigid in our parenting mindset | Learn new skills and complement our growing child |
The table denotes just a few examples and there are many more than can be added. In the journey of parenting, both the routes are required. Sometimes, we may have to take short-cuts and at times, we travel along the longer route. But what’s important is not just the act of choosing our parenting path, but how Authentic and True we are as a person first and then as a parent. We can be both sweet and spicy, but it has to be our authentic self that we stand by.
KEY TAKEAWAY:
Children can see through our sweet or spicy persona and get a sense of our pretence, so it’s always better that we don’t. As our pretence of, let’s say, displaying that everything is fine, can lead our children to fear that something unpleasant is happening, which in turn, may lead them to become fearful and insecure as individuals. And we would not want that.
No matter what the path or how bumpy the ride is, children will benefit the most if they are involved and engaged in every experience along the way and learn the lessons they must learn, along with their parents.
“BE AUTHENTIC,
REST ALL WILL BE MANAGED AND BALANCED FOR THE GOOD OF ALL”
