I am confused.
Shouldn’t it be “ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN’T CHANGE”?
And how does this message apply to me as a parent?
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Let’s say there are some aspects in your child that is very disturbing, and you are very unhappy due to the unacceptable behaviour in your child. What bothers you is that no matter what you do, you are not able to change the behaviour of your child.
In addition, society norms dictate that the parents should be able to control their child’s undesirable behaviour, else they will be held responsible for their child’s behaviour.
This eventually leads to a power struggle between the parent and the child, leading to stress and conflict.
So, what can a parent do?
Most of the parents believe that they are responsible for their children.
But a child is a ‘HUMAN BEING’ and not a product.
And we cannot control a human being unless we use some force.
What we can do however, is influence our children to be aware of and change their behaviour, on their own.
And this transition from controlling to influencing is possible only when the parent accepts what they can’t change and then change what they can’t accept.
Which means that they first work on their emotions towards an uncomfortable situation and then, follow it up by a New Behaviour or a New Outlook at their end.
Resisting the change will keep the parent stuck and feeling frustrated and low.
Accepting the existing situation will encourage the parent to relook at their current perspective and define their transformational and change areas.
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KEY TAKEAWAY:
It is not the situation that causes us pain. The pain we go through as parents is the result of our resistance towards that situation.
The key is to accept and change our outlook towards that situation.
