Our actions are driven by logic. However, these same actions are acted upon not just by the reasoning but by how they make us feel. If there is a good feeling that arises when we think of an action, we naturally and energetically act upon it. However, if there is even the slightest bit of discomfort, we will try to delay or ignore the action.
Let’s picture this very common scenario. You (the parent) have had a long hard day at work and are mentally and physically exhausted. Dinner is done, the kitchen is closed, and the family is all set to hit the bed. Just then, your 8-year-old child comes up to you, gives you a tight hug and requests you for a cup of the chocolate ice-cream that’s resting in the freezer. You know that your child should not be eating that ice-cream, but since you are exhausted and you see a look of eagerness and excitement in your child’s eyes, you melt away and agree to give the ice-cream.
In this situation, the intention was to stick to the rule of not eating ice-cream at such an odd hour, but the action taken was exactly the opposite.
Was the action driven by logic? —————— NO
Was the action driven by emotion? ————- YES
This is what we call ‘The Intention-Action Gap’. This gap exists for intentions that we may have for self or for our children. This gap is accompanied mostly by ‘I should…’ rather than ‘I did.’
There are several tips and guidelines one can find on how to become more intentional.
Some examples are:
- Set daily goals
- Be conscious of your time
- Ask ‘WHY’ before you do something
- Build self-accountability
- Learn to say ‘No’
And many more……
While these tips are not wrong and we also know that they are good for us in the long run, yet we struggle to do them consistently.
Logically, we are all mentally ready to follow the tips. But the emotional web of our feelings traps us in its clutches and prevents us from doing what we are supposed to do.
This emotional trap not only prevents us but also makes us come up with all possible reasons and justifications to delay or not to do the job.
Let me also bring attention to that fact that we (the parents) are the biggest influencers of our children. They follow our every move and do what they see us do.
So if they see us delay our own jobs on most occasions by giving into our emotions, they will pick the same behaviour and eventually, it becomes a habit for them too.
Till they are of a certain age, we can give them instructions. However, when they grow up to become teenagers and young adults, these same intention-action gaps will prove as major obstacles in their progression.
We will not be pleased to see certain habits and behaviours in our adult children, but they reflect our own personalities that gets imbibed into them.
KEY TAKEAWAY:
We all have good intentions for our children. However, to act upon them, we must work on ourselves first.
Without involving the self, we will never do what we ought to do.
